Why are kids mean to each other? Usually they’re trying to get back at someone who hurt them. Or they’re trying to embarrass someone they don’t like even if that person hasn’t done anything.
Maybe bullies think that targeting others can save you from being targeted. Or that being first in line to start a rumor, make a rude comment, or threaten someone makes you cooler.
Anyone who believes that is wrong.
Cruel’s Not Cool! an anti-bullying campaign to engage students, teachers, administrators and parents in a community-wide exploration of our culture of cruelty, why cruel’s not cool, and what each of us can do, moment-by-moment to take back our schools by making them safer, more accepting places for all students all the time.
From Terra’s Inbox: Q&A About Bullying
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From a Teen: “My friend posted really nasty things about me on her site.”Hey Terra, I "had" a friend in school. I'm not sure if I want to be her friend because she ignores me in school and she pressured me into smoking a cig. I wrote that to her in an email and then she said that I was a loser and that she didn't want to be seen with me. Then I said some nasty things about her and then she posted really nasty stuff about me on her site and she got her friend to post nasty things about me on her site. What should I do? Dazzling Dina |
From a Parent: “My daughter's best friends are being mean to her.”Dear Annie, My daughter is 16 and two of her very best friends have become very close themselves. Now they are leaving my daughter out and saying mean things, like talking about their plans in front of her. They know this is hurting her. One of their mothers is clearly jealous of my daughter being more popular than hers. She also plans things and leaves my daughter out. I have bent over backward to always include both of these girls. If we have one spend the night Friday the other is invited for Saturday and after they both come over, lately they are even cutting my daughter out here at our house! What can I do? Sad Mom |
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| Read Terra’s Answer » | Read Annie’s Answer » |
More letters about bullying from teens »
More letters about bullying from parents »
Additional Resources:
- Facebook — We’ve set up a Facebook page so you can join the discussion about bullying... share your experiences and any solutions you’ve found that actually help. Connect with others committed to ending bullying. More »
- Blog Post: “We kids would like to know…” — For almost 13 years tweens and teens have been asking me questions. Usually they’re having problems with friends, former friends, mean kids… You get the picture. Their sadness and confusion gets to me. Sometimes I tear up at the keyboard. Sometimes I yell in frustration. They don’t understand why a friend would treat them this way. I don’t get it either. But I try my best to help by telling them what they can do to improve the situation. More »
- Parent Forum article — “Don’t Add to the Garbage”
- Parenting tips for helping kids deal with friendship challenges
- Parenting tips for helping kids survive mean girls/guys
- Podcast: Queen Bees Go Hi-Tech — Guest: Rosalind Wiseman
- Download “Cruel's Not Cool” Workshop PDF
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