Why are kids mean to each other? Usually they’re trying to get back at someone who hurt them. Or they’re trying to embarrass someone they don’t like even if that person hasn’t done anything.
Maybe bullies think that targeting others can save you from being targeted. Or that being first in line to start a rumor, make a rude comment, or threaten someone makes you cooler.
Anyone who believes that is wrong.
Cruel’s Not Cool! an anti-bullying campaign to engage students, teachers, administrators and parents in a community-wide exploration of our culture of cruelty, why cruel’s not cool, and what each of us can do, moment-by-moment to take back our schools by making them safer, more accepting places for all students all the time.
From Terra’s Inbox: Q&A About Bullying
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From a Teen: “My friend yelled at me in front of the whole class!”Hey Terra, You always seem to know the right thing to say so please help me with this problem... In math class people were talking about my friend so I told my friend they were talking about her... then I got yelled at from everyone. What's worse is that one of my other friends thinks that I told everyone that she was the one that told. I NEVER did that! So she comes to my class and yells at me w/ her scary boyfriend laughing and after they leave I just cry in front of my whole class. What should I do? I don't want to go to school. I feel so stupid for crying. Cry Baby |
From a Parent: “I think I've made my daughter into one of those mean girls.”Dear Annie, Having just read your "Mean Girls" article, I had to write. At times my 13-year-old daughter is one of those mean girls. She's in the in-group and is invited to everything. She also can be critical of others. I blame my husband and myself. I spent 30 minutes at a party last night trying not to criticize other guests. "Look what he's wearing." "She is SO annoying." I sound just like a mean girl. I am trying to be a better role model, but I fear the damage is done. At this point we are trying for, "You don't have to spend time with everyone, but you may not be mean and critical." I have come to see my parents and siblings as very critical as well. When my mother feels any discomfort, she finds fault with the person involved. I also feel that the school has done everyone a disservice by identifying her group as "the popular girls," and then telling them how they should perform in that role. What suggestions would you make for mean girls parents and teachers. Thanks, Corrine |
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| Read Terra’s Answer » | Read Annie’s Answer » |
More letters about bullying from teens »
More letters about bullying from parents »
Additional Resources:
- Facebook — We’ve set up a Facebook page so you can join the discussion about bullying... share your experiences and any solutions you’ve found that actually help. Connect with others committed to ending bullying. More »
- Blog Post: “We kids would like to know…” — For almost 13 years tweens and teens have been asking me questions. Usually they’re having problems with friends, former friends, mean kids… You get the picture. Their sadness and confusion gets to me. Sometimes I tear up at the keyboard. Sometimes I yell in frustration. They don’t understand why a friend would treat them this way. I don’t get it either. But I try my best to help by telling them what they can do to improve the situation. More »
- Parent Forum article — “Don’t Add to the Garbage”
- Parenting tips for helping kids deal with friendship challenges
- Parenting tips for helping kids survive mean girls/guys
- Podcast: Queen Bees Go Hi-Tech — Guest: Rosalind Wiseman
- Download “Cruel's Not Cool” Workshop PDF
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