Why are kids mean to each other? Usually they’re trying to get back at someone who hurt them. Or they’re trying to embarrass someone they don’t like even if that person hasn’t done anything.
Maybe bullies think that targeting others can save you from being targeted. Or that being first in line to start a rumor, make a rude comment, or threaten someone makes you cooler.
Anyone who believes that is wrong.
Cruel’s Not Cool! an anti-bullying campaign to engage students, teachers, administrators and parents in a community-wide exploration of our culture of cruelty, why cruel’s not cool, and what each of us can do, moment-by-moment to take back our schools by making them safer, more accepting places for all students all the time.
From Terra’s Inbox: Q&A About Bullying
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From a Teen: “My friend posted really nasty things about me on her site.”Hey Terra, I "had" a friend in school. I'm not sure if I want to be her friend because she ignores me in school and she pressured me into smoking a cig. I wrote that to her in an email and then she said that I was a loser and that she didn't want to be seen with me. Then I said some nasty things about her and then she posted really nasty stuff about me on her site and she got her friend to post nasty things about me on her site. What should I do? Dazzling Dina |
From a Parent: “Why isn't someone doing something about mean girls?”Dear Annie, I read the article you were quoted in about the Scourge of the Mean Girls (New York Daily News, December 9, 2006). Please keep spreading the news because this is a huge problem in our schools. The affect on the victims is still yet to be told of its true impact. We all have been picked on to some point but in today's reality the peer pressures and bullying have surpassed the positive reinforcements of parents, educators, religious figures and mentors telling the victim how beautiful, smart, blessed or worthy they are. None of that matters because the mean girls tell them different. How can we counter that when the heads of our children tells them we are right but their hearts and emotions say "Yeah, I hear you but so and so said such and such and therefore you are just saying that." It saddens me and I don't known how to help or combat that. Trust me from my own personal experience with a now 17 year old teenager daughter who I can only say took all she could and experienced a breakdown the likes we did not see coming. Everyday is a form of living emotional hell... we can not help, do not know how to help and have tried everything professional, personal, religious and social services. We the family suffer too... so now an underdeveloped bully in today's world victimizes the whole family long after the acts are committed. I could not protect mine as hard as I tried... and I know if people would be more truthful and open the numbers would blow your stats out of the water. However, for now please please keep spreading the word. Thank you Sad Parent |
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| Read Terra’s Answer » | Read Annie’s Answer » |
More letters about bullying from teens »
More letters about bullying from parents »
Additional Resources:
- Facebook — We’ve set up a Facebook page so you can join the discussion about bullying... share your experiences and any solutions you’ve found that actually help. Connect with others committed to ending bullying. More »
- Blog Post: “We kids would like to know…” — For almost 13 years tweens and teens have been asking me questions. Usually they’re having problems with friends, former friends, mean kids… You get the picture. Their sadness and confusion gets to me. Sometimes I tear up at the keyboard. Sometimes I yell in frustration. They don’t understand why a friend would treat them this way. I don’t get it either. But I try my best to help by telling them what they can do to improve the situation. More »
- Parent Forum article — “Don’t Add to the Garbage”
- Parenting tips for helping kids deal with friendship challenges
- Parenting tips for helping kids survive mean girls/guys
- Podcast: Queen Bees Go Hi-Tech — Guest: Rosalind Wiseman
- Download “Cruel's Not Cool” Workshop PDF
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