Why are kids mean to each other? Usually they’re trying to get back at someone who hurt them. Or they’re trying to embarrass someone they don’t like even if that person hasn’t done anything.
Maybe bullies think that targeting others can save you from being targeted. Or that being first in line to start a rumor, make a rude comment, or threaten someone makes you cooler.
Anyone who believes that is wrong.
Cruel’s Not Cool! an anti-bullying campaign to engage students, teachers, administrators and parents in a community-wide exploration of our culture of cruelty, why cruel’s not cool, and what each of us can do, moment-by-moment to take back our schools by making them safer, more accepting places for all students all the time.
From Terra’s Inbox: Q&A About Bullying
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From a Parent: “My daughter's ex best friend has turned against her.”Dear Annie, My 13 year old daughter (Jane) had become very depressed and actually suicidal. We immediately got professional help for her and she was diagnosed with a mood disorder akin to bipolar 2. She was honest with her "best friend" (Betty) and believed that she would be supportive. Instead, Betty began gossiping about Jane. Then she sent my daughter an E-mail in which her father called Jane crazy. Needless to say, Jane's depression worsened and her anxiety attacks became so profound that despite regular counseling and adjustment of meds she couldn't go to school. So now Betty has spread through out the school that Jane had to leave school because of pregnancy and numerous other disgusting accusations. Now Jane is being shunned by all except one guy friend. (Keep in mind, for the past several months, since the depression and anxiety first began, we never leave Jane alone... not even to go to the grocery.) The cruelty of these teens is absolutely mind boggling. The principal and counselor at the school seem to have the attitude that kids will be kids. Jane is totally terrified of the idea of me talking with Betty's parents. I am at wits end and after months of suicide watch and watching my precious, creative daughter become ashen with grief I have become too angry to even sleep. What else can I do? Jane's Mom |
From a Teen: “I'm teased at school and all my mom says is 'Ignore them.'”Hey Terra, The kids at my school tease me because I'm a vegetarian and I'm not good at sports. I feel like I don't have any real friends because they're constantly telling me how weird I am, and this one girl, that I have to sit next to, enjoys throwing my pens and notebooks off my desk. I've tried telling my mom about this, but all of the things she told me to do didn't work, like ignoring them and laughing with them. The say my food is gross and they never listen to what I have to say. Sometimes I get so frustrated, that I start screaming at them. Then they ask me why I'm so mad. It's like they purposely upset me for fun. What should I do? Still Screaming |
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| Read Annie’s Answer » | Read Terra’s Answer » |
More letters about bullying from teens »
More letters about bullying from parents »
Additional Resources:
- Facebook — We’ve set up a Facebook page so you can join the discussion about bullying... share your experiences and any solutions you’ve found that actually help. Connect with others committed to ending bullying. More »
- Blog Post: “We kids would like to know…” — For almost 13 years tweens and teens have been asking me questions. Usually they’re having problems with friends, former friends, mean kids… You get the picture. Their sadness and confusion gets to me. Sometimes I tear up at the keyboard. Sometimes I yell in frustration. They don’t understand why a friend would treat them this way. I don’t get it either. But I try my best to help by telling them what they can do to improve the situation. More »
- Parent Forum article — “Don’t Add to the Garbage”
- Parenting tips for helping kids deal with friendship challenges
- Parenting tips for helping kids survive mean girls/guys
- Podcast: Queen Bees Go Hi-Tech — Guest: Rosalind Wiseman
- Download “Cruel's Not Cool” Workshop PDF
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