Why are kids mean to each other? Usually they’re trying to get back at someone who hurt them. Or they’re trying to embarrass someone they don’t like even if that person hasn’t done anything.
Maybe bullies think that targeting others can save you from being targeted. Or that being first in line to start a rumor, make a rude comment, or threaten someone makes you cooler.
Anyone who believes that is wrong.
Cruel’s Not Cool! an anti-bullying campaign to engage students, teachers, administrators and parents in a community-wide exploration of our culture of cruelty, why cruel’s not cool, and what each of us can do, moment-by-moment to take back our schools by making them safer, more accepting places for all students all the time.
From Terra’s Inbox: Q&A About Bullying
|
From a Teen: “My cousin hates school because the other girls don't include her.”Hey Terra, My cousin is in the 8th grade. She has been placed in a class for gifted children because she is exceptionally smart in math. The class only has a few girls. When she was younger, she seemed to get along okay with them. But sometimes she'd be invited to slumber parties, she'd come home early because she said some of the girls would hurt her feelings. She hardly ever goes anywhere unless it is with her mom or aunts. Her mom was unemployed for a couple of years and needless to say, she couldn't afford to buy a lot for her to help her fit in... like name brand clothes, cell phones, four wheelers, etc. Now my cousin hates school because she says that the other girls all hang together and don't include her. For example, every girl in the class was invited to this party, but my cousin was the only girl in the class not asked to stay the night. What should she do? Concerned Cuz |
From a Parent: “My daughter's ex best friend has turned against her.”Dear Annie, My 13 year old daughter (Jane) had become very depressed and actually suicidal. We immediately got professional help for her and she was diagnosed with a mood disorder akin to bipolar 2. She was honest with her "best friend" (Betty) and believed that she would be supportive. Instead, Betty began gossiping about Jane. Then she sent my daughter an E-mail in which her father called Jane crazy. Needless to say, Jane's depression worsened and her anxiety attacks became so profound that despite regular counseling and adjustment of meds she couldn't go to school. So now Betty has spread through out the school that Jane had to leave school because of pregnancy and numerous other disgusting accusations. Now Jane is being shunned by all except one guy friend. (Keep in mind, for the past several months, since the depression and anxiety first began, we never leave Jane alone... not even to go to the grocery.) The cruelty of these teens is absolutely mind boggling. The principal and counselor at the school seem to have the attitude that kids will be kids. Jane is totally terrified of the idea of me talking with Betty's parents. I am at wits end and after months of suicide watch and watching my precious, creative daughter become ashen with grief I have become too angry to even sleep. What else can I do? Jane's Mom |
|
| Read Terra’s Answer » | Read Annie’s Answer » |
More letters about bullying from teens »
More letters about bullying from parents »
Additional Resources:
- Facebook — We’ve set up a Facebook page so you can join the discussion about bullying... share your experiences and any solutions you’ve found that actually help. Connect with others committed to ending bullying. More »
- Blog Post: “We kids would like to know…” — For almost 13 years tweens and teens have been asking me questions. Usually they’re having problems with friends, former friends, mean kids… You get the picture. Their sadness and confusion gets to me. Sometimes I tear up at the keyboard. Sometimes I yell in frustration. They don’t understand why a friend would treat them this way. I don’t get it either. But I try my best to help by telling them what they can do to improve the situation. More »
- Parent Forum article — “Don’t Add to the Garbage”
- Parenting tips for helping kids deal with friendship challenges
- Parenting tips for helping kids survive mean girls/guys
- Podcast: Queen Bees Go Hi-Tech — Guest: Rosalind Wiseman
- Download “Cruel's Not Cool” Workshop PDF
Facebook
