Why are kids mean to each other? Usually they’re trying to get back at someone who hurt them. Or they’re trying to embarrass someone they don’t like even if that person hasn’t done anything.
Maybe bullies think that targeting others can save you from being targeted. Or that being first in line to start a rumor, make a rude comment, or threaten someone makes you cooler.
Anyone who believes that is wrong.
Cruel’s Not Cool! an anti-bullying campaign to engage students, teachers, administrators and parents in a community-wide exploration of our culture of cruelty, why cruel’s not cool, and what each of us can do, moment-by-moment to take back our schools by making them safer, more accepting places for all students all the time.
From Terra’s Inbox: Q&A About Bullying
From a Teen: “My brother and stepbrother aren't nice to me.”Hey Terra, I am in a blended family with 7 kids. The two oldest ones are very good friends. The next two oldest are very good friends. The last two are my brother and step brother, both are 13, and they are extremely best friends. That leaves me no one. All of the older ones live by themselves or with roommates. So I live with the two 13-year-olds. My stepbrother is the leader and my brother is the follower. If my stepbrother is mad at me, then my brother will be mad at me too. Also, if my brother isn't home and it's just me and my stepbrother that will be practically the only time he will have a more than five word conversation with me or play with me. I'm very nice and usually liked by everyone. I want to understand why my stepbrother isn't very warm to me and what should I do when they both gang up on me in a verbal fight? Please help. Left With No One |
From a Teen: “My cousin hates school because the other girls don't include her.”Hey Terra, My cousin is in the 8th grade. She has been placed in a class for gifted children because she is exceptionally smart in math. The class only has a few girls. When she was younger, she seemed to get along okay with them. But sometimes she'd be invited to slumber parties, she'd come home early because she said some of the girls would hurt her feelings. She hardly ever goes anywhere unless it is with her mom or aunts. Her mom was unemployed for a couple of years and needless to say, she couldn't afford to buy a lot for her to help her fit in... like name brand clothes, cell phones, four wheelers, etc. Now my cousin hates school because she says that the other girls all hang together and don't include her. For example, every girl in the class was invited to this party, but my cousin was the only girl in the class not asked to stay the night. What should she do? Concerned Cuz |
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More letters about bullying from teens »
More letters about bullying from parents »
Additional Resources:
- Facebook — We’ve set up a Facebook page so you can join the discussion about bullying... share your experiences and any solutions you’ve found that actually help. Connect with others committed to ending bullying. More »
- Blog Post: “We kids would like to know…” — For almost 13 years tweens and teens have been asking me questions. Usually they’re having problems with friends, former friends, mean kids… You get the picture. Their sadness and confusion gets to me. Sometimes I tear up at the keyboard. Sometimes I yell in frustration. They don’t understand why a friend would treat them this way. I don’t get it either. But I try my best to help by telling them what they can do to improve the situation. More »
- Parent Forum article — “Don’t Add to the Garbage”
- Parenting tips for helping kids deal with friendship challenges
- Parenting tips for helping kids survive mean girls/guys
- Podcast: Queen Bees Go Hi-Tech — Guest: Rosalind Wiseman
- Download “Cruel's Not Cool” Workshop PDF