Why are kids mean to each other? Usually they’re trying to get back at someone who hurt them. Or they’re trying to embarrass someone they don’t like even if that person hasn’t done anything.
Maybe bullies think that targeting others can save you from being targeted. Or that being first in line to start a rumor, make a rude comment, or threaten someone makes you cooler.
Anyone who believes that is wrong.
Cruel’s Not Cool! an anti-bullying campaign to engage students, teachers, administrators and parents in a community-wide exploration of our culture of cruelty, why cruel’s not cool, and what each of us can do, moment-by-moment to take back our schools by making them safer, more accepting places for all students all the time.
From Terra’s Inbox: Q&A About Bullying
From a Parent: “I think I've made my daughter into one of those mean girls.”Dear Annie, Having just read your "Mean Girls" article, I had to write. At times my 13-year-old daughter is one of those mean girls. She's in the in-group and is invited to everything. She also can be critical of others. I blame my husband and myself. I spent 30 minutes at a party last night trying not to criticize other guests. "Look what he's wearing." "She is SO annoying." I sound just like a mean girl. I am trying to be a better role model, but I fear the damage is done. At this point we are trying for, "You don't have to spend time with everyone, but you may not be mean and critical." I have come to see my parents and siblings as very critical as well. When my mother feels any discomfort, she finds fault with the person involved. I also feel that the school has done everyone a disservice by identifying her group as "the popular girls," and then telling them how they should perform in that role. What suggestions would you make for mean girls parents and teachers. Thanks, Corrine |
From a Teen: “My brother and stepbrother aren't nice to me.”Hey Terra, I am in a blended family with 7 kids. The two oldest ones are very good friends. The next two oldest are very good friends. The last two are my brother and step brother, both are 13, and they are extremely best friends. That leaves me no one. All of the older ones live by themselves or with roommates. So I live with the two 13-year-olds. My stepbrother is the leader and my brother is the follower. If my stepbrother is mad at me, then my brother will be mad at me too. Also, if my brother isn't home and it's just me and my stepbrother that will be practically the only time he will have a more than five word conversation with me or play with me. I'm very nice and usually liked by everyone. I want to understand why my stepbrother isn't very warm to me and what should I do when they both gang up on me in a verbal fight? Please help. Left With No One |
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More letters about bullying from teens »
More letters about bullying from parents »
Additional Resources:
- Facebook — We’ve set up a Facebook page so you can join the discussion about bullying... share your experiences and any solutions you’ve found that actually help. Connect with others committed to ending bullying. More »
- Blog Post: “We kids would like to know…” — For almost 13 years tweens and teens have been asking me questions. Usually they’re having problems with friends, former friends, mean kids… You get the picture. Their sadness and confusion gets to me. Sometimes I tear up at the keyboard. Sometimes I yell in frustration. They don’t understand why a friend would treat them this way. I don’t get it either. But I try my best to help by telling them what they can do to improve the situation. More »
- Parent Forum article — “Don’t Add to the Garbage”
- Parenting tips for helping kids deal with friendship challenges
- Parenting tips for helping kids survive mean girls/guys
- Podcast: Queen Bees Go Hi-Tech — Guest: Rosalind Wiseman
- Download “Cruel's Not Cool” Workshop PDF