From a Parent:

“I think I've made my daughter into one of those mean girls.”

Dear Annie,

Having just read your "Mean Girls" article, I had to write. At times my 13-year-old daughter is one of those mean girls. She's in the in-group and is invited to everything. She also can be critical of others. I blame my husband and myself. I spent 30 minutes at a party last night trying not to criticize other guests. "Look what he's wearing." "She is SO annoying." I sound just like a mean girl.

I am trying to be a better role model, but I fear the damage is done. At this point we are trying for, "You don't have to spend time with everyone, but you may not be mean and critical." I have come to see my parents and siblings as very critical as well. When my mother feels any discomfort, she finds fault with the person involved. I also feel that the school has done everyone a disservice by identifying her group as "the popular girls," and then telling them how they should perform in that role. What suggestions would you make for mean girls parents and teachers.

Thanks,

Corrine

From a Teen:

“What can you do when people just stop talking to you?”

Hey Terra,

You just recently visited my school. I enjoyed your talk, but it also made my friend and I a little uneasy. You talked about how sometimes friends grow apart, and sometimes people just don't like each other anymore. Well that has happened to my friend and I. Last year everyone was getting in fights and there seemed to be different groups that all hated each other. This year I thought things would be different and everyone could just get along... and they did, at first.

Everything was going fine until one day our whole class just stopped talking to me and my friend. Our other friends would just walk by us and glare at us like we had done something wrong. People would talk about us behind out backs and laugh as we walked by. We had no idea what was going on. I chose to talk to one of my friends about it and she said that she wasn't mad at me, but that it just seemed like I was too depressed to have friends. This I did not understand. I was never depressed and I always thought that I was actually a happy person. The only time when I was quiet or sad was when no one would talk to me besides my friend (the one that people were also mad at). I don't know what to do, and my friend and I are very confused. Please help.

Very Confused and Lonely