Why are kids mean to each other? Usually they’re trying to get back at someone who hurt them. Or they’re trying to embarrass someone they don’t like even if that person hasn’t done anything.
Maybe bullies think that targeting others can save you from being targeted. Or that being first in line to start a rumor, make a rude comment, or threaten someone makes you cooler.
Anyone who believes that is wrong.
Cruel’s Not Cool! an anti-bullying campaign to engage students, teachers, administrators and parents in a community-wide exploration of our culture of cruelty, why cruel’s not cool, and what each of us can do, moment-by-moment to take back our schools by making them safer, more accepting places for all students all the time.
From Terra’s Inbox: Q&A About Bullying
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From a Teen: “What can you do when people just stop talking to you?”Hey Terra, You just recently visited my school. I enjoyed your talk, but it also made my friend and I a little uneasy. You talked about how sometimes friends grow apart, and sometimes people just don't like each other anymore. Well that has happened to my friend and I. Last year everyone was getting in fights and there seemed to be different groups that all hated each other. This year I thought things would be different and everyone could just get along... and they did, at first. Everything was going fine until one day our whole class just stopped talking to me and my friend. Our other friends would just walk by us and glare at us like we had done something wrong. People would talk about us behind out backs and laugh as we walked by. We had no idea what was going on. I chose to talk to one of my friends about it and she said that she wasn't mad at me, but that it just seemed like I was too depressed to have friends. This I did not understand. I was never depressed and I always thought that I was actually a happy person. The only time when I was quiet or sad was when no one would talk to me besides my friend (the one that people were also mad at). I don't know what to do, and my friend and I are very confused. Please help. Very Confused and Lonely |
From a Teen: “I'm teased at school and all my mom says is 'Ignore them.'”Hey Terra, The kids at my school tease me because I'm a vegetarian and I'm not good at sports. I feel like I don't have any real friends because they're constantly telling me how weird I am, and this one girl, that I have to sit next to, enjoys throwing my pens and notebooks off my desk. I've tried telling my mom about this, but all of the things she told me to do didn't work, like ignoring them and laughing with them. The say my food is gross and they never listen to what I have to say. Sometimes I get so frustrated, that I start screaming at them. Then they ask me why I'm so mad. It's like they purposely upset me for fun. What should I do? Still Screaming |
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More letters about bullying from teens »
More letters about bullying from parents »
Additional Resources:
- Facebook — We’ve set up a Facebook page so you can join the discussion about bullying... share your experiences and any solutions you’ve found that actually help. Connect with others committed to ending bullying. More »
- Blog Post: “We kids would like to know…” — For almost 13 years tweens and teens have been asking me questions. Usually they’re having problems with friends, former friends, mean kids… You get the picture. Their sadness and confusion gets to me. Sometimes I tear up at the keyboard. Sometimes I yell in frustration. They don’t understand why a friend would treat them this way. I don’t get it either. But I try my best to help by telling them what they can do to improve the situation. More »
- Parent Forum article — “Don’t Add to the Garbage”
- Parenting tips for helping kids deal with friendship challenges
- Parenting tips for helping kids survive mean girls/guys
- Podcast: Queen Bees Go Hi-Tech — Guest: Rosalind Wiseman
- Download “Cruel's Not Cool” Workshop PDF
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